This article makes for a different perspective.
Not endorsing what’s said here in this recent article from The Guardian, nor am I propagating partnerships, as it is a case of – to each their own ( choices, beliefs).
“Loneliness is an emotional response to feeling unloved and unseen, which can happen in or out of a relationship. It’s about feeling misunderstood or lacking connection. Happy solitude means you are comfortable in your own skin.”
The quote above sums it all.
Loneliness can happen in a decade long relationship, too. I had been in the institution of marriage for many years and had considered it a sacred entity. Something that We had held onto for years and years, living in hope, even when there was none.
Many of us know that a bond when genuine, honest, transparent and with two equally committed partners, can give sublime happiness. Be it a love relationship, a friendship or a familial one. And sometimes the joys that come from the latter two are much more meaningful. ( and less complicated 🙂
Singleton and no children states can be as good as the reverse.
As a child, I remember Mom pulling out her old Kanjeevaramsarees and stitching the prettiest window curtains for our home. And, takingbread crusts and drying them on the window sill to then pound them into crumbs for some delicious kheema cutlets.
Homosapiens then shot across the decade with Smart Phones and super connectivity in tow, and the ‘use and throw’ era set in.
The planet began revolting with overuse and depletion, and humankind was forced to take a step back.
It all began with the cooking movement where celebrity chefs turned food scraps into delicious dishes. Termed trash cooking, chefs with their charisma and allure were able to convince restaurant goers and gourmands to eat something new, and in the process contribute to lowering food waste. In the‘Root to leaf’ (or the nose to tail equivalent) method, apple and pear scraps make jelly, watermelon skin goes into pickles, and mini pizza is baked from bread crusts. Aging vegetables can be-char-grilled to get rid of the bitter tastes or by adding cheese to make a casserole. Well, it is no small wonder that KFC recently changed its fries to appear ‘skin-on’.
The fashion industry is heading in the same direction of upcycling or super cycling.
Finally, that old pair of jeans that you hung onto from college imagining you would fit into them someday, can now be brought out and repurposed. Well, not into a dishrag, but something more interesting, like a-pouch for your phone with some embroidery work on it, or for a bottle holder,or to dress up your cat (a very slim cat, that is).
The Hindu’s Saturday magazine recently carried a write-up about these designers and their work. For a change, designer didn’t mean bomb-expensive. Adaptable, some of the clothing allows you to adjust the fit at any time during Its (and Your) lifetime.
Closer home, we have brands like Pomogrenade who make garments for all body types. They recently tied up with Ants Crafts (the lifestyle store from the Northeast in Indiranagar, and the café where we all tended to hang out often) who works directly with artisans from remote parts of India. Until now, sustainable was fashionable. Now, it’s actually aiding the fashion economy and changing our consumerized habits (albeit slowly).
‘Re-loving waste’ is what they call it.
The Hindu magazine’sarticle on upcycling fashion:
Tesco’s root to stemrecipes:
What do you do when your Work sometimes comes in the way of valued Friendships you have, or wish to have?
From the experiences, I have had so far, I know with certainty that it is not at all difficult to keep personal and work relationships separate. As long as one is totally honest and transparent with the friend, it thrives and provides the joy that it is meant to. Loyalty comes first at any cost, and one can be loyal to a Person and to Work without compromising either.
(Work gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Happiness at work and in the achievements of something completed well, or when we see impact of the work we do, is supreme and important to all of us, but I am not talking of that here.)
When people on their deathbed were asked about what was the one thing they regretted not doing in life, the common answer was that they wished that they had lived more freely, thought more independently, valued relationships and made the effort to make and keep them, and spent more time with loved ones.
It was definitely not – I wish I had spent more time in the office or something similar 🙂
Going back to the original question, what do you do? Well, one tries and then lets it go. Life always goes on, doesn’t it?
Authenticity is about being ready to be vulnerable in genuine and healthy relationships, or about not regretting about trying hard to keep a sacred relationship
Of living courageously and honestly
…no over analysing
…No second guessing how people may react or respond to us and just offering them warmth and kindness
Of not taking oneself too seriously
And, Of just living a life we love, standing up for us, and working hard to reach the full potential that life offers anyone who wants and seeks it.
This post reminded me of the ambitions I chase, of wanting to write more on a non-professional level, of wanting to spend more time painting or as an apprentice to a chef, sky diving, etc
Also, Of not worrying about what people think, especially in a judgemental court where you are evaluated even without a fair trial.
The freedom and sense of peace that one gets by just being oneself, making and keeping genuine friends ( one of the most underrated relationships in life that doesn’t require a name), being able to smile without feeling burdened, watching nature and people as they go about their daily lives, enjoying time spent with parents, travelling, exploring hobbies, enjoying the work you do, playing sport, living life with as much spontaneity as possible, and believing in the natural goodness of all that’s human or alive, is immensely liberating.
Just being. Zazen.
For 600 dollars you can kayak across the White Nile, as it grows into one of the most dangerous rapids, in Uganda.
One of the tributaries of the longest river on the planet, the Nile, the other being the Blue Nile, these waters of the Itanda falls run for meters long and finally gush through a narrow gorge at the end, crushing and squeezing 50 feet wide rapids into a rushing waterfall seven metres wide, considered to be the most powerful in the world.. Even with an experienced guide, these waters are not safe, they say.
Beginning at Lake Victoria, one of the largest lakes in the world, the White Nile is the beauty of Uganda. And the most dangerous. Adrenaline junkies have it listed on their buckets (lists) — these invisible things we all carry as we grow older.
This one though would fall under the “Things definitely not to do before you die, huh, you ask?” 🙂
Having always heard of Uganda only as the land of the dictator, Idi Amin, from the gripping and provocative movie, #The Last King of Scotland, (that served as an introduction to the greatly talented Forest Whitaker and James McAvoy), the mention of the country so far brought on only memories of torture and insanity. How little we know of the world, indeed.
If you want to watch baby elephants learning to swim as The Nile makes its way to Sudan, encouraged by the family-herd who participate in the play sport, this is for you, too. Watching the African tuskers in their homeland after watching fellow humans face near death while rafting in the White Nile, may be something else altogether!